Blogs are often filled with rants—common and uncommon. How we end up in the wrong lane at the toll booth. How we choose the wrong checkout line. We get behind the gentleman with nineteen items in the fifteen or fewer lane. He has coupons. He’s paying with a combination of debit card and loose change. God bless him.
I enjoy a good rant. But blogs don’t usually deal with life or death issues… unless you’re older. If you’re older, nearly everything becomes life or death. It’s just a fact of life. Or death.
The Phrase That Won’t Leave Me
Lately I’ve been pondering that familiar phrase: “They died peacefully in their sleep.” How do we actually know that? Sure, there’s no visible trauma—no claw marks, no amputated limbs. But what we do know is this: Someone went to sleep… and didn’t wake up.
That’s all. It’s the classic death. The one most of us say we want. But I wonder— What we’re really asking for is a painless death. After a lifetime of recoiling from hot ovens, of avoiding bee stings, broken hips, dental work— we’d like to skip pain altogether.
Pain-Free, Not Peaceful
And yes, there are many ways to go that beat your nerves to the punch: An asteroid to the head. A nuclear blast. A midair explosion. All theoretically painless. Brutal, sure—but fast. That counts. Even being eaten by a lion may be less painful than we think. When the body is overwhelmed by trauma, it sometimes shuts down sensation altogether. Blessedly, mercifully—it goes numb.
Back to Sleep
But back to this “peaceful sleep” thing. I recently had a sleep apnea study. Most apnea is just a blocked airway—fixable. But some forms are central: the brain simply forgets to signal breathing. That’s… less comforting. Suffocation, in my experience, isn’t peaceful. It’s panic. It’s unease. Perhaps it’s different in sleep. But no one knows for sure. That’s the kicker: no one knows.
Final Suggestion
So here’s my proposal: Let’s stop saying “they died peacefully in their sleep.” Let’s just say: “They died in their sleep last night.” “ Peacefully” should be reserved for something else: When you’re hit faster than your nerves can scream. When the lights go out, and you never saw the switch.
A Work Progressing 